Hi there, I am Kiwi. I am a 24 year old Engineering graduate working in Banking. Yes, completely irrelevant fields. Why you ask? I’m not quite sure but I have several hypothesis as to why this is:

1. I never liked Engineering as a field of study. Don’t get me wrong, I love science, technology, computers, physics (even quantum) and math. I love what technolog have enabled us to do. What it will enable us to do in the future. It’s all mesmerizing stuff. But actually trying to study this crap while the profs don’t give a shit about what they’re actually saying is painful.
2. Nobody can really pronounce my real name correctly on the first try. Which creats a problem when the hiring manager sees my resume. “Ummm.. how do you say this? Forget it. Save myself the embarassment and just move on to the next candidate” is the normal reaction. The little companies that did call back all refered to me by my last name. Which, was common and overly  played by Austin Powers.
3. I am a female in a male dominated field and I am not ugly. Which must mean I must have sucked a lot of dicks to actually graduate. Put two and two together means I don’t know shit and therefore am not qualified to do the job I have applied for. Unfortunately for them, I have more skills than I actually claim on my resume. For one, I think quite a bit older than my girlie peers thanks to years of “adult thinking” training by my overly childish mother.

Long story short… I am now an “semi engineer”. Designation with no title. If that made any sense at all. One of my managers is a Human Resourse specialist with zero fucking designation (oh sorry.. she’s got a Professional HR techical diploma). You only truely realize the opportunity cost of going to school when this happens.
So, “Das Not Compute” (originally named Muses and Ramblings… it has undergone several name changes since it’s inception) is a collection of everything that keeps my brain ticking, as well as an attempt at consolidating my numerous blogs across the “blogsphere” (for lack of better words). For anyone who watches Futurama on a frequent basis, you should recognise the title as a quote from Bender when his mind has been erased, with an added German accent. Don’t ask me why.

It’s amusing, vulgar, political, silly, sad, poetic and everything in between.

I am greatly inspired by the one and only Mr. George Carlin. Although I would NEVER claim that my writing is anything like his. He is one of the few people I truely admire in this world (or not in this world anymore.. and what a sad world it has become). Still, I hope to stick true to Mr. Carlin’s roots and say whatever the fuck I want to, just with a lot less flair than how he did it. Take everything with a grain of salt and find humour in everything, even death and rape. If it isn’t funny then it’s not being said right.

The picture below was my original page header. It is a sketch I did for my NYMPH series. The particular character is C. She is a master of poision yet she is extremely troubled. Poisioned by her own soul so to speak. The actual sketch depics her wearing heavy cuffs on both wrists as a symbol of her entrapment. Yes, some times I laugh at myself at how artsy I have become. I could always draw, not well.. but well enough.

I want Das Not Compute to feature my own struggles, dilemmas, general frustrations, and offer some insight and amusement.

Read, Love, Hate, Enjoy.